For the past few months, the same memory has been floating up to the top of my mind. I figured I might as well share it here. I think it might be a reminder to share more of myself than just what I think are ‘important woo things’, because its a reminder that its the little things which can make the biggest difference

When I was as the end of my time in massage school, we were sent out on a variety of externships to get practice with real world clients. For one of mine, I chose to go give massage at a group home for mentally ill folks, many of whom were (recently) formerly homeless, who were at a point in their treatment where they were transitioning back into living and working. We were giving relaxation chair massages, nothing fancy. It was mostly a chance to practice intake and working with strangers. I was in my white pants and fancy little polo shirt from the school, looking all neat and professional for all that we were throwing pillows and towels on a table for folks to lean on – no actual massage chairs were available for offsite work.

My last client of the day was late and not a happy camper, but I didn’t have to be anywhere and he looked like he needed the massage. I sat there while he painstakingly filled out his intake form in wobbly block print, hands shaking the entire time. He had trouble spelling, especially his medications. He asked me how to spell one of his meds – seroquel.

I told him, and mentioned I took it as well, and he was so surprised. Its hard to describe, so many years later, when I can’t recall the exact words. But while before we started we talked a little. I was taking seroquel at the time because I used to depersonalize; for a very long time, my doctors thought I was bipolar (long story short, while I am OCD and clinically depressed, the BPD was a side effect of the hormones I’d been on.) I told him that I was bipolar, and he said he was too. That some of the meds he was on made his hands shake and his muscles hurt. And he was amazed to see that I was doing “So well”, even though I didn’t feel like I was at the time. Shit, I still don’t feel like that. But just that little bit of sharing made a huge difference to him. He left that day smiling, because he said he figured if I could be ok and be doing so well as a massage student and what not, that he could do ok too.

Its a good reminder for me that how we perceive our selves against others is relative – I certainly didn’t feel like I had my life together compared to other folks I knew, but to this man, I was a light in  a dark place. And I learned that sharing some of the things folks hide about themselves can make a huge difference to someone struggling with the same thing.



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Posted by on June 4, 2016 in Uncategorized


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A Mother’s Day prayer for those whose earthly mothers are lacking

Happy mothers day to the moms, soon to be moms and trying to be moms in my life. To those of us with terrible moms we choose to be estranged from: at least our dads are cool.

A Mother’s Day Prayer
For those whose earthly mothers are lacking

Hail Angrboda, Mother of Monsters:
May I have the will to keep on my road, even when lost.

Hail Sigyn, Mother of Grief:
May my sorrows be bearable, even when sharp

Hail Freya, Mother of Treasure:
May I remember my value, even when knocked down.

Hail Frigga, Mother of Light:
May I remember that even when in darkness, light comes from me.

Hail Rind, Mother of Vengeance:
May what comes forth from me be my revenge, a life well lived.

Hail Jarnsaxa, Mother of Strength:
May I always be strong enough to always do better than my past.

Hail Hela, Mother of Death:
Take what sorrows I cannot bear any longer and lay them at the feet of my ancestral mothers, so they may know I tried.

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Posted by on May 8, 2016 in Uncategorized


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Concepts in Modern Polytheism – Antiquity vs. Modernity

Concepts in Modern Polytheism – Antiquity vs. Modernity


*Note: This post is very Euro-centric, because that’s what I know and that’s the viewpoint of most of my readers. Circumstances were/are different in other places, especially when we’re talking about living traditions, so while some of this can be extrapolated for those it’s not a one-size-fits-all thing. Keep that in mind when reading. I am also so not an expert with all of this, so if you find any mistakes please feel free to PM me and let me know!

“Antiquity” and “Modernity” are concepts at the core of quite a few debates in modern polytheism. That makes unwrapping them a great start to this “Concepts of Modern Polytheism” series!

To begin, I guess the first thing to understand is that Antiquity and Modernity don’t refer to time periods. That’s the obvious place our brains go, and where a lot of these discussions seem to founder, but it’s not…

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Posted by on February 23, 2016 in Uncategorized


Spiritual Molestation

H/t to Wintersong for posting this today.
While the article comes from a Christian perspective, about a Christian action,
1) its good to see other Christians calling this stuff out and
2) It’s always something to keep in mind. There is a big difference between the give and take of hospitality and the gifting of charity – hospitality has a give and take between a host and guess.
Sure they may be in an unequal position in hospitality, but if you are giving charity, charity out of the good of your heart and the love of your God(s), then charity? Is not conditional. Ask if you can pray for someone LATER, after you handle the issue at hand: feeding a hungry person who is so hungry, they’re willing to risk pain and humiliation to ask for some food.
Don’t be a dick. You shame your Gods with such actions.
“To demand that someone do something that makes you happy before you will give them food is not to show the love of God, nor is it loving like God does. It abuses people in the name of God and bears witness to the idea that God is abusive and power-hungry to someone who has good reason to doubt God’s love in the first place. It is, instead, to work against the love of God and the message of Jesus. It is anti-gospel and, in fact, anti-Christ.” 
Read the full article, Spiritual Molestation, by Hugh Hollowell
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Posted by on January 30, 2016 in Uncategorized


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Practical Rune Magic: Ior

Practical runic car magic: I have a friend who uses Isa as their go to protective rune for their car and while driving.

I can see why, since Isa, as the Ice rune, is a great rune for sliding on by and making sure you’re not seen (such as when you’re speeding, or parking illegally.)

However, the downside to that is the same as the upside – sometimes you don’t see ice. The few times I’ve used Isa and forgotten to remove it have generally ended with folks just missing me at the last minute.

Earlier this summer, I had a little incident with my car where the passenger side window would not roll up. I was not able to get this fixed for over two weeks because I didn’t have the funds to repair it. I also live in a somewhat rough neighborhood where leaving your car window open isn’t the best idea. Plus…rain was coming.

So I did all the practical stuff – removed my EZ pass, phone charger, anything I couldn’t afford to lose and locked the glove compartment. Parked on a main street with the window facing the one way road. But before that, driving home, I was angry and frustrated, particularly as had I been told by the person who gave me the car the motor was going, I’d have stopped using it until I had gotten it repaired!). In my frustration, I ran through the runes in my head looking for help, and bam, there it was. Ior.

Image from Shadowlight: Iormungand

Ior is the rune of the World Serpent, which is found in the Anglo-Saxon Futhorc set of runes (The Futhorc is 33 runes – the 24 runes from the Elder Futhark with an additional aett +1). One of my teachers associates Ior with the keyword of BOUNDARIES. Clearly – Jormungandr is literally the boundary between Midgard and Ginnungagap; encircling and protecting us from the void.

So I galdred Ior in my car, and I also like to make the Jotunmobile look like a great crouching beast that one wouldn’t want to approach.

Two weeks with no window and some really pathetic plastic coverings, and not a thing was damaged by human or rain.

I used it again recently which is what inspired this post.  I was desperate to get to my appointment. I had to pee and I was having a hell of a time finding a parking spot near my doctor’s office in Old City at night. I finally parked illegally on the block of the office, in front of a hydrant, and again placed Ior on my car before running in.  I figured I’d have a ticket by the time i left – in fact as I was stepping out my car there were cops both walking and driving down the street.  Not a thing.

I personally prefer Ior of Isa as a protective rune for items in motion, but I’d love to hear other folks experiences with both in the comments.


Posted by on January 29, 2016 in Uncategorized


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SSC and RACK for Polytheists

So apparently this has been in my reading queue for ages, but I’m glad I finally read it. (There’s a part of me going through a list of check boxes going, dude, do I KNOW you already?) As a kinky polyamorus polytheist/pagan (lots of p’s) I’ve spent quite a bit of time seeing how both the poly’s overlapped – particularly in balancing the multiple relationships, be they human or Non-human. However I’d never thought to apply the concepts of SCC and RACK to these particular debates, and I’m amused to see that as always, I wind up on the side of RACK.


Risk-aware and consenting.

Full disclosure: I’m a kinky person. I have been since forever, I don’t care about figuring out why that is, and I relate to my gods through the lens of kink. And no, not for sexual reasons. And to be honest? I suspect a lot of devotional polytheists do to, but don’t realize it.

There’s been lots of hubub going on in the polytheistosphere lately concerning the role of consent, autonomy, et al in the realm of devotion and servitude. The one camp says that, if the Gods are real, intelligent, atomized individuals, then why can’t we hold them accountable for their actions when they do things to/with us that we don’t like? And the other, more or less, says yes, maybe aim for that – but meanwhile, don’t forget that the Gods aren’t human fucking beings. 

And if that sounds like a biased summary, then I plead guilty, because…

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Posted by on January 16, 2016 in Uncategorized


The Road to Hel


They say “The road to Hel is paved with good intentions.”


(And Intestines, the restless writhing mess,
it is paved with the teeth of the dead
from mouths made sour by words unsaid

Its paved with the sharp shins,
the straight spines shattered,
the knee of those who remain unbending

The Road to Hel is paved with the skulls of your enemies
If thy enemies are Cowardice, Shame and Fear
for it is that conquered road which will bring peace.

Its paved with the hands of many
untold ages, lifting you up
guiding you to a long Remembered place.

The Road to Hel is caked with the mud
of ten hundred thousand times ten thousand journeys
and the strange prints of those who came before.

Its lit with the stories
of the walks to this door:

“Life is a slow march towards Death”


“You have gone nowhere Someone hasn’t walked before”

and that on this road, is comforting.)


The Road to Hel is paved with good intentions.

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Posted by on January 15, 2016 in Uncategorized


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How Bobcat Got Married



Now Bobcat, she was always a tough one. She knew her own mind, and she wasn’t about to let anyone change it—not without her permission, anyway. Her range wasn’t the biggest, not like her cousin Lynx’s, but she defended it fiercely. And she knew it well. Nobody stepped onto Bobcat’s doorstep without her knowing about it. Not much escaped her when it came to prey, either. She was sleek, well-fed, and came out of every Winter with a shiny coat and a smile on her lips.

She never hurt for suitors, and why should she? Why, a fine huntress like Bobcat would be an admirable mate, and the beauty of her spotted coat and well-tended whiskers didn’t go unnoticed, either.

paintingdetailBut she chose not a single one of them. Not Coyote, with whom she had hunted on more than one occasion, and who told her he’d never seen such sharp…

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Posted by on January 12, 2016 in Uncategorized


Isa and Dagaz – January

Isa and Dagaz – January

Some thoughts on Isa and Dagaz for January. Wardenheart is my Kindred, and I will be posting over there and reblogging those posts here occasionally as well.

Wardenheart Kindred

Back in 2014, I came across this post about Yuletide by Beth Wodandís. It was shortly after Yule had ended when I read it (I am constantly about 2 weeks behind everything on the internet!) but I was very interested in the idea of a 12 night draw of runes to get a glimpse at the year a head.  This year, I made sure I did this for Wardenheart! I thought it would be an interesting experiment to see what kind of information each rune will give regarding each month.  I plan to write up all of the entries in the next few weeks and post them all each month.

I would love any insights folks might have to share and I hope we can discuss them in the comments.

Of course, things don’t always go as planned. And January with it’s two runes, did just that.  The primary rune…

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Posted by on January 10, 2016 in Uncategorized


Prayer to Heimdall


In 2013, in the middle of a terrible depression, I painted one wall going up the stairs to my previous apartment in huge rainbow panels, with a blue banister. All the other walls were sky blue, and got lighter as you went inside. (It looked awesome, but the truth was that I started to run out of paint so I cut it with white and started to become clouds!)

At the time, I had my feet firmly on Heathen path but I was not aware of the Jotuny nature of my Gods and my Blood. I felt like the Rainbow needed a guardian, and it seemed natural to call on Heimdall, so I also painted a mural of a ram for Him. The paint was mixed with paper upon which I had written a prayer to Him to help protect our home.

I don’t really work much with Heimdall these days – not even so much back then, really.  I never really felt Him there, and that’s fair. However, I came across the prayer recently in an old sketch book, and wanted to share it here.

Hail Heimdall, Guardian of the Bifrost!
Rig, friend of humanity and father of Kings,
Bless my home with your protection and wisdom.

Keep us safe and alert to trouble, so that we may be aware
And act to keep our home safe and frithful.

Hail Heimdall, Watchman of Asgard!


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Prayer to Heimdal and photos by Úlfdís is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.

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Posted by on December 17, 2015 in Uncategorized


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