For the past two weeks, I have been covering my head every day. Full on covering, with a wrap – i find I do well with the tichel style, though when not getting ‘dressed’ I will wear just a kerchief. I do sometimes wear twin braids – that seems to be ok, since its for class and I usually have another scarf on anyway.
I should rewind, and explain that I have recently felt called to cover my head and hair – and had been doing so most of the year. Since I started martial arts, I found that twin french braids were a good style for not being distracted by hair in class, and started doing it more and more…and when not, would be wearing my hair back in a bandanna. The last time they were here, Volsung was teasing me about my drawer full of bandannas.
So I figured, let me try this again. Back in 2012 and 2013, my life got jacked up. I asked for something, got it, and had my world go nuts and my heart ripped out many, many times. It sucked. I covered my head then to deal with some crown chakra issues, and it was an interesting experience.
As of late, it had been coming up more and more in my thoughts, as I have been going through a really interesting period of life – newly divorced, free, just turning 30, and really starting to come into my power as an adult woman.
It makes sense that it is happening now. Its marking a change, a transition from who I was as a child, to who I am as an adult. It’s part of the process. (Its hard to explain the whole ‘process’ right now, as I am in the middle of it all.)
But I feel good covered. I like it. I like not thinking about my hair, I like that I feel like folks are more focused on my face. I admit, I enjoy to some extent the feeling of ‘otherness’ but that is something I always feel – I am not much like many of my coworkers, for example, but around the folks I am akin to, the covering makes sense.
Part of it, too, I think relates back to a quote written on my board – “Hag before Heart”. I think I had been focusing a bit too much on both my own vanity, and on some other things my Lady feels I need to focus less on. She’s right of course, but She often is when it comes to me. I just get stubborn. I find covering to be a good act of humility.
There are no real rules to this, such as with other religions and very specific modesty laws. Mine are all kind of being figured out as I go. The above covering guidelines (wrapped up, in braids (covered) in braids (uncovered) and long but in a kerchief, in that order of preference) are about all I have to go on right now.
I am finding it interesting to find out how, and around whom, I feel comfortable being uncovered around. I enjoy getting to choose this boundary, especially as someone who has had many issues with boundaries in the past.
I’m also finding it an interesting take on modesty, as otherwise, I have not change my style of dress. I’m still inclined to get naked. But my hair, is MINE.